My arms are flabby!

Last night when I got Mom in bed she was pulling up the cover to cover up her shoulders and all of a sudden she looked at her arms and exclaimed, "My arms are FLABBY!" then she just looks at me , like. what are you going to do about it?  I look at her for a moment and say, Mom, there is nothing I can do about your arms.  She looks at me and grins, then says,  Well you better do something about it!
 
This evening before bedtime we were talking and she says, Do you know that LuRea would not sleep with me the other night.  I asked her if she was going to and she looked at me and said NO!  I felt like a little dirty chicken:)

"Blondie"

One of my sisters has decided to lighten her hair on the way to going all gray.  She was blond when she was little but then her hair became darker over the years.  Anyway she decided to go back to being a lighter shade.  This has really thrown Mom for a loop.  She keeps asking me if I have seen this sisters  hair lately.  I say yes.  Then she starts telling me all over again.   It's funny the things that seem to make such an impression on her.   Everyday she asks me if I am aware that my younger brothers (all three of them) have gone out and gotten married and have babies.    I say yes, but the babies are really almost grown.  She says,  I was wondering why they weren't coming home after school:)   I guess they will just always be her babies. 

18 again

Bedtime...every night at bedtime when Mom gets to the bed she sets on the edge of it and puts her feet on a little stool, lifts herself up with her hands, gives herself a little push and tries to set as far back in the bed as possible.  After she does this I lift her feet and legs up and help her finish getting into bed.  Last night, really every night, she says, "I hope you girls never get in this position, to where you have to struggle to get into bed".   I say, Well, Mom, I guess if we live to be 88 or 90 we might have a little difficulty too.  She says, How old am I? I tell her that she is 88.  Oh My Gosh, am I that Old? I tell her that yes she is.   She says,  Well, I told that young man that was here today that I was 18 and he believed me:)  He was 18 too and quite the handsome feller.  Oh Really, I say.   She looks at me with that sparkle in her eye and says,  No, Not really, I was just joking with you:) 

If you don't have anything good to say......

I don't have anything good to say today.  Mom always said that if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all!   

Stop it MOM!

So we will talk about yesterday. 
I like to do puzzles. Today I cleaned off the puzzle table and found a puzzle, poured it out on the table, turned over the pieces.   I wondered what Mom would do.  I was hoping she might find it interesting.  (she has had enough with picking out pecans).   After going by it several times on her way to use the restroom she finally said something to me about putting it together.  We worked on it for about an hour.  She was so pleased when she would find a piece that worked.  

Around 4o'clock she started talking about being very tired and was about ready for bed.  I had talked to my little brother about coming over and sitting with her for the evening so that Mike and I could go to the Saturday evening service at church.  He and his family were coming at 5:30.  Mom kept talking about going to bed.  I said "Rocky is coming to see you this evening".   She immediately said "Well, then I am certainly not going to bed".  It really makes her feel good when some family comes to visit.  Part of the reason is that she thinks she can convince them to take her home.  And she does certainly try!  Mostly though she likes the company. 
After church we went out for dinner.  We made it home around 9 o'clock.  I just knew mom would be in bed and I would not have to deal with that tonight . It is such an ordeal getting Mom to get out of her chair and start walking  out of the room, down the hall, go to the bathroom, brush her teeth, walk from the bathroom to her bedroom, take off her robe, sit on the edge of the bed, take her slippers off, lay down, (I lift her feet up into the bed) pull her covers up Just Right, explain to her about the lamp at the head of her bed, turn on the CD player, turn off the light,  say goodnight and close the door, or not, depending on her mood.   If she decides to go to bed at 7:00, we will get started in that direction about 7:15, and lights out, door closed by 8.  I promise, I did not pray for patience:)  Anyway,  she wasn't in bed....Oh well,  whether I prayed for it or not, I think God's working on me in that area.  I don't really like it.  

God's GRACE

Today I experienced God's Grace in a major way.   I do not do well with accidents involving bodily fluids.  Today we had a major one.  I feel so bad for Mom because she certainly couldn't help it and it is so humiliating for her.  I feel bad for me because when I smell certain things, I am liable to throw up and then that exasperates the problem.   This accident happened on the carpet.  I sent Mom on to the bathroom to the shower and I went to get the paper towels and carpet cleaners and the plastic bag.  On the way back I sent up a quick plea to God.."God, PLEASE help me with this".  I can tell you that God took away my sense of smell and I was able to take care of the entire situation from carpet cleanup to shower and not smell a thing !   That was  Major   for me.   Thank you God.   And as Forrest Gump would say "And that's all I have to say about that".  
 Not about Grace..you can't say enough about that..but that's enough about accidents!
  

Pecan therapy

I bought 30 lbs. of cracked pecans this season, this was before I knew that Mom was coming to stay with me.  I get some every year, because I use them in a lot of different things that I cook.   This purchase has turned out to be an extra blessing this year.  It gives Mom something  to do.  It helps her feel like she is contributing .  Problem is, she almost has them all picked out.

Today I had a new sitting service.  I think having someone that she didn't know sitting with her made her  feel a little melancholy. It's like she realizes she is elderly and needs someone to sit with her and she (of course) doesn't like that feeling, (who would).  She had a moment of reality where she new that her mind wasn't working right.  After the lady left and I was sitting talking to her, she said, "I can't remember why I am here, or how I got here.  If I didn't know better I would have thought that I walked".  She talked more today than she has in several days about going home to take care of "Poppy" .    Her dad was very special to her. Her mind is in a time when she is with her dad. Her dad died young, he was in his 40's .  He lived with her and daddy for a while during the early years of their marriage.  She always felt special to her dad, so, I don't know, but I think that's why her mind has settled in that time period. 

After we talked for a while she asked me if there were any more pecans to pick out, I said yes that there was a few, did she want me to get them for her.  She said yes.  It gave her something to do so that her mind didn't stay in that melancholy confused place. 

Boy, have I been in trouble today!!

Moms been pretty put out with me today.  She has been on my case about everything.  She keeps telling on me to Mike.  First I "made" her take a shower, then I made her put on clothes so that I could wash her robe that she  likes to wear everyday.   Then she told Mike that I made her eat at least 4 times.  My great niece stayed with her a couple of hours this evening so that Mike and I could go to our Master Garderers meeting.  Mom told her how wonderful Mike was but that I was mean to her. Laural told her that she was sure that I was not mean to her and she told Laural that I made her get out of bed 4 times today.

Is it bedtime yet?

    It makes her pretty tired going  through the shower routine.  I  plug a space heater in and get the bathroom nice and warm.  It is an ordeal, so I know it wears her out.  In the end she gets a shower and I get time in a sauna:)..  she started wanting to go to bed for the night at around 4:00 this afternoon.  She got up out of her chair and started back to her room about 3 or 4 times.  Laural came over at 5:15, and I told her to try and keep mom up until at least 6 or 6:30.  Mike and I got home at 8:00 and she was sitting in her chair waiting for us to get home.   ( I was really hoping she would be in bed because I didn't want to get into any more trouble).  Well, she was still upset with me  and let me know it.,  As I was walking out the door, I said Goodnight Mom, she said "Goodnight , I love you and thanks for all you do for me:) And another day ends.

Dreams mixed with reality

Mom goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 pm.  Last night was as usual.  My husband was working late, so after I got mom in bed I just chilled out on the couch for awhile.  All the lights were out , just the TV was on.   A little before 10:00 I hear Mom calling for me and asking me "are you in there?"  I jump up to see what's going on with her.  She thinks that it is morning and that it is time to get up.  I explain that it is still night and that she has only been in bed for a couple of hours.  I walk with her back to her room and when I look in I see that she has attempted to make her bed,  packed her overnight bag and placed it and her purse on the bed.  She starts talking about my little brother and his girlfriend and how they had been out driving and had an accident.  It was very dark and I could see this house with lights on in the distance, so I  walked to it and went inside and got in bed with these people.  I kept telling myself, get out of here, get out of here..finally I got out of bed and came to find you.  We talked a little more, and she said, I must have been dreaming.  I said,  That was quite the dream.  Yes, she said, it was bordering on a nightmare! Then she says,  I guess I'm losing my mind right along with my good looks:) 

This was my day!

On Fridays I docent at the Zoo.  I am determined to be able to keep this up.  I love it , I love animals, and I have met a lot of very special people there.   This week I didn't know if it was going to happen or not, but my most wonderful husband arranged his work schedule so that he could stay with mom and I could go to the zoo.  How great was that!  It was so good to get back.  I had not been able to go for the last 5 weeks.   I have trained to handle some of the raptor birds and on this day I took one of our Screech owls (Rusty) out and also our Spectacled Owl (Peeper) out.  I loved it.  

 We have Snow Leopard cubs.  They are several months old now and looking so grown up.  I wanted to try and get some pictures of them before they were to mature looking.  They are so beautiful, and my favorite Big Cat.  I am a cat lover and I especially love all the Big Cats that God created.  I just know that when I get to Heaven that I will get to live with the Big Cats.  



This one put on quite a show for me.  She kept changing positions, posing for me just like a model.   I say "She" but I don't know if it is the female or the male...It just reminds me of a female model on the runway modeling this season's fashions.

                                             Is this not the cutest !

I could have stayed and watched them all day.  




It was a good day at the Zoo.  Thanks to my husband for making it possible!

I have found a sitting service to help me.  I am trying them out next week, let's hope it works out.

Good times!

 Mom always enjoys when my brothers and sisters come to visit her.  She especially enjoys my two youngest brothers.  One great thing about our family is that sense of humor :)  I guess we all got that gene, it's probably not an actual gene, I don't know , but whatever it is Thankfully all my family members have it. Quoting a line from the movie "Mr. Mon" keep that sense of humor, it's critical!  And most importantly:  As the good book says: laughter doeth good as a medicine! 

One thing about Mom living with me is that this brother only lives about 30 minutes away, so he can come visit more ofter. 


Doesn't Mom look good.

Visitors

Isn't it interesting how little ones who are usually shy around almost everyone will go to an elderly person.  The first picture is of my youngest son's little boy.  He has always been very particular about who he allows to touch him! I pick him up from his preschool 3 days a week and when he comes in the door he will go right up to mom in her chair and give her a great big HI!   Then they carry on some sort of a conversation, usually while watching one of the "Toy Story" movies.  She shared the pecans she had been picking out with him on this day.  He loved the pecans and kept going back and asking for more.

Today one of my sisters and her husband picked  their daughter and her two little girls up at the airport, so while they were in the area they came by for a visit.  The little one, who is also very shy around strangers, (she wouldn't let me get close to her) went right up to mom and climbed on her lap.  The other one isn't shy around anyone,  She  is miss social and interacts with everyone.

Mom enjoyed all the little ones and she always enjoys visitors.  She had her share of them today.

snow day

can you find the squirrel?  Mom did.

 

It's snowing today.  One thing I love about my house is that  the North wall in the living room is all windows. On the South wall is a huge fireplace.  Mom's chair sits next to the fireplace so that she can get the heat from the fire, which she loves, and she can look out the windows and watch the birds at the feeders , the squirrels jumping from tree top to tree top, and today the snow drifting down.  There is something so peaceful about watching the snow fall.  It just makes for a quieter day. 


We are watching Joyce Meyer on TV,  and Mom being the age she is can't imagine a" Woman Preacher in Jeans".   I try to explain that in todays world she is trying to reach people right where they are, and today they dress casual and it's great to have a woman preacher  that reaches so many people. But...she's 88 so what can I say?

Mom's black purse

Today, well actually it started yesterday,  mom decided she left her black purse at "that little house down the road".  She kept asking me to call and ask that lady if she left her black purse there.  I told her that her purse was back in her room.  "No, I'm talking about another one, it's a little bigger than that one.  Won't you call and ask about it?  Ok,  I will check.  change conversation.  A few hours later,  same thing all over again.   We went through this several times.  Later she went to use the restroom, which is directly across the hall from her bedroom,  when she came out of the restroom she saw her purse in her room.  She said,  Linda is this my purse from that house/ I said yes,  I decided it was best to go along with the fantasy.  She said good.  She asked me to bring it to her and she proceeded to go through it to see if anything was missing.  She found her little Bible that she keeps in it and she commented that , they left my Bible.   A little later she found $17, she said well, I guess there are still some honest people in the world :)  She is now arguing with me..She says that I'm saying that she is crazy, and I'm saying that just being older that her mind is not working good. She said " I went to school, I learned some things, if my mind isn't working then I'm crazy.  I'm saying that she is just addlepated ! 

Mom

This is a great picture of mom.  You will notice she still has a sparkle is her eye. 

Visit from #10

My next to the youngest brother (#10) came to visit this evening.   When one of my younger brothers come to visit Mom her face lights up and she smiles.   She still has it in her head that they are young, perhaps teens, and that they are living at home.   She told me this afternoon and then again this evening that someone told her that both the boys had gotten some girls pregnant.  Now all three of my younger brothers are married, in fact they have been married for several years and their children are well into their teens and some in college.  Oh well, as she says,  I'm just losing my mind.  Confusion reigns.  Today she has joked a lot more.   So today was a good day.  I did have a sitter come over and sit with her  for a few hours this afternoon so that I could go swim and then pick up my grandson at his school.  It was nice to get a little exercise and a little break. 

Please take me home

Mom is so focused on going "home".  She asks everyone who walks by her to take her home.  One of my sons was over today and she asked me if I  thought he would take her home.  I always try to be truthful with her.  She does not like to hear the truth.  She asks about her dad, brothers, my dad,  her mom. I tell her that they are all gone.  She thinks I'm lying to her.  Which is better to tell her, that they are gone or that they are fine?  If I tell her that they are doing good, then she wants to go see them more, so I continue to tell her the truth.  Was there humor in today?  She loves Bing Crosby.  We have watched "White Christmas" and "Holiday Inn" so many times this last week.  Today it was "Holiday Inn".  When it came on she said "there's my Bing".   I'm going to have to find more Bing Crosby movies or we will be watching "White Christmas" July 4th.   When she was at her home she did not even want to watch TV.  Now she enjoys it.  go figure.   At least it stimulates her brain.  I wish I could figure out more things that she could help me with.  It makes her feel better about herself- as it would anyone- right?  I found myself getting a little impatient today, after about the 10th time of hearing "Please take me home".  Mom, I can't take you home.  You live here with me so that I can take care of you.  I don't need you to take care of me.
After all that I have done for you kids and now you treat me this way.  Sorry Mom,  I'm leaving the room now.  And so ends another day.  Was there any humor today?  I know there was,  but I can't find it right now.

Crazy=confused=addlepated

January 1st 2011:  My mom came to live with me two weeks ago today. I thought it would be a good thing to journal my time with her.  I have titled my blog:" Who's crazy: Mom or Me?".  I used the word crazy in my title, not  with the true meaning of insane, but with the looser meaning of confused, or for a fun definition of addlepated.  Mom has always had a great sense  of humor, so in tribute to her I hope to keep that alive in this blog.   I know in her mind she believed that she was only coming for a visit, and after the first week, and every day since she has been asking to go home.  I am #8 on 11 children  and as each of my brothers and sisters come to visit her here at my home she is asking each of them to take her home. Right now, the home in her head, while it is in the correct town, is the home she was in when she and my dad had her dad living with them before he got sick and died.  She needs to get home to care for her "Poppy" (who has been dead for 60 or so years).  She was very close to her dad, and those memories are some of her best.  I do not like telling her over and over that her Poppy has gone on to be with Jesus. It's like she has to relive that time over each time I tell her .

She just got up for the day and is calling for one of her sisters.  I tell her that that sister is at her home,  She wants to know what day it is, I tell her that it is Saturday, January 1st.  I ask her if she remembers whose birthday it is, and she says that's what she is trying to remember.  I tell her that it is one of her childrens .  Then I tell her which one and she wants to know how old he is.  I tell her that he is 55, then she  asks how old I am and I tell her 57.  She says,  then that makes me 15 doesn't it...That sense of humor peaks through!