the answer to the question!

Well, the jury is in and the answer to the question "Who's Crazy, Mom  or Me" is  ME!  Sure Mom is confused and "addlepated", but I am definitely the crazy one. 

Due to circumstances beyond my control, Mom has gone back to live at her home with my oldest brother and his wife.  She will be happy there, if for no other reason than that it is her home that she has lived in for the past 60 or so years.  My sister-in-law will take good care of her and my other siblings who live right there on or around the property will also.  My brother just younger than I is very compassionate and will always check on her and do whatever he can for her. 

It seems that this last week when Mike and I were trying to decide what to do, that  Mom just kept on and on about going home.  I took that as a sign.  I had been praying so intensely as to what I was supposed to do.  

 She always looked at her time with me as being in a facility..she couldn't get around the idea that this was my house.  She just knew that she was not at home.  I think that she enjoyed a lot of the things here, the big windows that she could look out and see the birds and the squirrels jumping from tree to tree,  she enjoyed watching the amaryllis bulbs grow and bloom.  She liked the things we did together, and just sitting and visiting.  She didn't remember it for very long :) but she enjoyed it at the time.. 

I will never regret our 10 weeks together.  Mom and I always had a special relationship and it was good to renew that. 

Every night after I helped her get into bed she always thanked me and Mike for taking such good care of her.  We said I love you and I turned out the light and slipped from the room.    So, this is goodnight to Mom and I love you. 

Since Heck was a pup!

'Since Heck was a pup"

Just a few happenings from today. 

The last couple of days Mom has been talking more  about going home . She had pretty much gotten that down to about once a day. A couple of days went by without it being mentioned.  Seems like things kinda cycle around.  Yesterday it was foremost on her mind.  She mentioned it at least every hour, sometimes more.   Today she was talking about how long she had been away,  I was in the process of telling her how long it had been and just as I said it's been...she chimed in and said "since Heck was a pup".   I wonder where in the world that saying came from?  I do remember hearing her say it before ( a long long time ago).

I'm still working on the princess dresses and I was in the kitchen sewing (she's not real crazy about me being in the other room where she can't see me) anyway it was time for a break.  I came into the living room and set down, she asked me where I had been.  I told her that I was sewing the princess dresses for the twins.   Who has twins? she asked.  ( I think that punctuation is wrong..oh well)  I told her that Mark  had 4 year old twins.  She started laughing.  I asked her what she was laughing about and she started talking about a time when we lived in Asher and she came down to stay with the boys while Mike and I went to Annapolis to visit our oldest for Parents weekend at the Naval Academy.  The other boys were at school, one was a senior, one was a freshman and the other was in the 4th grade.  When school was out  the boys came driving up to the house and mom was outside hanging clothes on the clothesline.  Unfortunately for the boys (who had friends in the car with them) mom was in the process of hanging their underwear on the line.:)  She remembers how funny that was to her and how embarrassed the boys were.   It's funny the things that she pulls out of her mind!

A little later we were sitting just talking and she asked me If I remembered that little song that she used to sing to my sisters and me.  I asked her which one she was thinking about and she started singing it to me....."My Momma told me , If I was goody, that she would buy me a rubber dolly....Now don't you tell her , I have a feller, or she won't buy me a rubber dolly.  Then she told me that her mom sang it to her when she was a little girl. Along with a lot of other ones.   And we pass them on to our little ones

Pampering

I took Mom to get a perm a few weeks ago and now it is time to get a haircut.  Every time she walks by the mirror in the bathroom she lets me know that she needs it cut.  This started before all the snow and we were unable to get out for two weeks.  As soon as I could I made her a hair appointment.  While I was at it I decided to go ahead and schedule a manicure and a pedicure.  I have a great friend that does my hair and I knew that she would take good care of Mom.  Her appointment was for 3pm Thursday.  We started out that morning with me trying to convince her that a shower was due.  She was not very happy with me.  Lucky for me I have a hallway that there is no way that she can get past me:)  Her shower (my Sauna) over, we had a few hours before the apt. She gets very tired from all the work involved in taking a shower and I knew she would need a good rest. I also knew that I would have to start at about 2  to get her  to the car and in it for the 20 min. ride into town, to get there by 3.  We made it.   I took her in and Jennifer got her all settled and then she told me to leave and she would call me when she was almost through.   I left.  I came back home and  went to my room, layed down and read and napped.  It was great.
When I got back to the salon I found Mom settled in the Pedi chair with both girls working on her.  Jennifer kept getting her nails done and Mom kept messing them up.  Finally Jennifer had to hold her hand to give the polish time to dry. 
Mom had a great time and talked about it all the way home.  About how she kept those girls down there laughing the whole time.  It was good for her to get out and laugh a while.  The girls even talked her into letting them put pink polish on fingers and toes.
We came back home, had dinner (which we picked up on the way home), and then it was bed time.  We got to her room and was changing into her gown, she looked at her fingers and said, "when did you put this color on my nails?"  Then she noticed her toes.  She couldn't believe her toenails had polish on them.  She had already forgotten that she had been any where.   Since we got home on Thursday , most of the time she talks about when I could of had time to paint her nails, but every once in a while she will look at her nails, laugh, and talk about having a good time with the girls down there.  Oh Well, as Cindy told me.....it's the moments and not the days that you have to think about. 

The Club Sandwich Generation

my life,  it's good but has lots of layers

They say we are the sandwich generation.  It is not just an ordinary two slices of bread sandwich, it's at least a club sandwich and sometimes instead of a sandwich it's a torte.  You have your spouse, your parents, both or maybe just one, your kids,and your grand children,  your siblings if you have any, and your career if you have one. ( In my case it's not a career, but my insides calling me to be an artist)  You just want everyone to be happy and get along.   Is there a day when all this comes together and that happens?  I guess there are days when it seems so.  But with so many different personalities, opinions, lifestyles and such...well, it probably doesn't  happen as often as we would like.   I am not good with confrontations.  I definitely have my own opinions on matters.  As for Mom,  When you have as many siblings as I do that makes for a lot of opinions.  We all want whats best for mom, I know that.  But, how do you decide what's best when there are so many different thoughts on the matter?  I would love for her to be able to live in her own home and to take care of herself.  She keeps telling me that she is perfectly capable of doing this.  After all she has been doing this for 80 plus years!!  The last few days she has been on the "When are you going to take me home,  Can you call one of the boys to come get me, I am not going to stay here.....and on and on.   I just want to say , sure Mom, let's go pack you up and go home.  Problem is, even though she has the town right, she does not have the location correct.  She keeps asking , "where is so and so" someone who hasn't even been around here.   Last Sunday she was watching basketball on TV with Mike and she was back in elementary school at Graham playing basketball and Mike was on the team. At one time when she was returning from using the restroom she came back into the living room and looked at Mike and asked him where is Vera??  We did not know any Vera. Mom didn't get to finish school.  She really wanted to but she had to quit and help at home.  She really liked playing basketball, she has talked about it a lot through the years.  I hate it that she didn't get to continue through high school.  Life gets in the way of what we think we want to do.  We certainly can't even think of seeing the bigger plan.  I think of the things that I thought that I wanted to do,  one thing that I always wanted to do was be an artist for Walt Disney.  I thought that that would be so cool.  But, the bigger plan, for me, was to get married and have four sons that  would reflect their father so that the four women that they would marry would know what  God intended Real Men to be like.  I think Mike is the perfect example of that. 
me thinks I have digressed
With all the things going on right now with all the layers of my torte, I'm rather tired of it all.  Is it time to move to a deserted island (that might be to hot) or the top of a mountain (Mike wouldn't like that-to cold and no golf) so here I will stay and take it one minute (forget taking it a day at a time) at a time and pray that I will do and be the best that I can be.

My Funny Valentine

hidden in the woodbox

It always amazes me how like a little kid Mom has become.  I know it shouldn't , it is the natural progression of things, but it does.  

Mom has always loved Valentines Day.  She always liked getting a box of candy.  The fancier the better.  This year I found her the prettiest box I could.  Monday I presented it to her with a Valentine.  I did have to tell her over and over that it was Valentine's Day and that this was for her.  She loved it.  We opened the box and I took off the plastic wrap and she chose a piece of candy.  We then replaced the lid and I told her that I would set it on the coffee table so that when she wanted more it would be there for her.   She said "No,  those little kids will get it."  I explained that there were not any little kids here, that it was just Mike, her, and me here at the house.  She said OK.  (  Over the weekend Mike and I kept 4 of the grand kids.  Being children, they were not always quite. )  Later on in the day I noticed that the box of candy had disappeared off the coffee table.  I asked Mike if he had seen it, he said no.  After Mom went to bed we started looking for the candy.  Now we couldn't figure out how she carried the box and held on to her walker.  I checked her bedroom, couldn't find it.  After she went to bed Mike and I , Keith and Lindsey started looking for it.  We looked under the furniture and everywhere.  Finally Lindsey opened the wood box and there it was.  Very clever hiding place. She was determined that no one was going to get her Valentine:) 

Decisions, Decisions

Oh, to be as Wise as the Owl

What to do, What to do.....There is so much going on.  So many decisions to make.  How do you know if you are making the right one?  Every morning during my prayer time I ask God to give me wisdom for the day,  help me keep my mouth shut, and that when Mom looks in my eyes, that she would see Him instead of me.  I have so many confusing thoughts in my mind.  I have learned in these past two months since Mom has been living with me, that the tone of my voice and my posture are what Mom notices.  She does not hear very well, or what she hears is difficult for her to understand, I guess it is all scrambled or something,  anyway I have to raise my voice and speak very clearly for her to be able to understand what I am saying to her. This has got to be as frustrating for her as it is for me.  When I raise my voice for her to hear me, then she thinks that I am be impatient with her.  If I am standing waiting on her to walk to where ever she is going, and I rest my hands on my hips (of which there is plenty of room to rest my hands:) she looks at it as being defiant.  Thankfully the Holy Spirit will say "Linda take your hands off your hips, think about what she is seeing" I couldn't do it without His constant help! 
It just makes me tired sometimes........

Watching the birds

 Mom's always loved watching the birds.  Here at my house she watches them all day.  (Well, when she is awake).  One of the good things about all this snow is that there have been LOTS of birds.  She comments on them off and on all day.  She will say,  look at all the Redbirds, everyone in the county must be here.  
 Redbirds do look great against the snow, sitting on the branches of the trees waiting their turn at the feeder.  

 I know that everyone is tired of all the snow, but it is so peaceful and when you walk out side and the snow buffers all the noises, how great is that!  It covers up all the imperfections (but you better watch where you are walking, I fell face first in the snow after tripping on a log that got covered up).  Actually that was kinda fun.  What a beautiful picture it makes to see the branches of the trees filled with all kind of birds and the snowflakes swirling all around. I lived is Southeast Oklahoma for 28 years and we were lucky to even get any snow in the winter.  When we moved up here 4 years ago one of the things I was looking forward to was having more snow. and I can certainly say I have not been disappointed.  I have my Hormone surges to keep me Plenty warm.  I hardly even wear my coat.   I have worn it more this year than previous years.  Forget the hat and gloves though.  It has been a little difficult having to keep the heater turned up for Mom.. I walk around in my short sleeves and she has her Warm robe and furry slippers and a blanket.  But we are managing.  At least she has the fireplace that her chair sits next to. 

 She may have forgotten a lot of things but she tells me what kinds of birds that I have at my feeders. 

 This bird we did not know.   I got out my bird book and I wasn't sure where to start, so I took a picture of it and put it on facebook and got a reply right away form one of my zoo friends.  It is an Eastern Towhee.  I was told that they don't usually come to feeders.  I think that we had a lot of desperate birds with all this snow.

Mom especially liked this little Wren.  For some reason she has always been partial to Wrens . 
I do have to admit that this morning it hit me......I have got to get out of this house for awhile.
Problem is,  when all this snow melts my drive way is going to be MUDDY.  it's as hard to get up the hill in the mud and in the snow.